Surprises ::

I am a planner I need to know the who, what, when, when, and why of all situations.  I HATE, yes HATE surprises.   My husband has been warned many times to never throw me a surprise party and to try and stop anyone who attempts to do the same. 

Well, guess what?  Adoption is all about the surprise.  Surprise we have a child for you.  Surprise this is their age.  Surprise this is their special need.  Surprise the medical records were a bit off this is really what their need is. 

The surprises don’t stop. 

Right now I am struggling with the first surprise, the when will we be matched with our child.  I just want to know when.  I would be equally happy with an answer of next week as I would with the answer of January.  I just need to know when, to put my nerves at rest.   My husbands advice.  “Just try and forget we are adopting.”  Um, yeah don’t think that is going to be happening ever!

I also want to start doing things for my child while we wait.  But this is nearly impossible we know nothing about her (or the slim chance of him.)  We don’t know her age (it could be anywhere from 6 months to 3 years old.)  We certainly don’t know her size.  We don’t know if we will be setting up a crib or a big kid bed.   If we did buy her some clothing or toys would they just be sitting around for months maybe years collecting dust. 

In short adoption is hard and we haven’t even come close to the really hard parts yet.

When I talked to my agency yesterday and inquired about our estimated wait I was told that they really didn’t know.  But the current trends would put us at about a 5-15 month wait to be matched from now.  This was both a relief and sad moment for me.  I know waiting a few more months would have a lot of benefits for us; heck a few more months to save money and be able to not stress about the trip to China would be great.  However, to be honest deep down I was so sad that it would be that much longer I was really, really hoping to hear only 1-3 more months.  I kind of knew that wouldn’t happen but I did wish it. 

So I think it is time to put the adoption timeline thoughts out of my head as best as I can, and try and find a few project to keep me busy.  I have a few things on my plate now that will help, surprises for all of you (I have no problem surprising others! Ha ha) Summer time will also help.  Having my kids home from school and keeping up with them and their activates will give my mind little time to wander.